I"m a Tool (or 5.5 Months Until Graduation)

So, the program that I"m at primarily regards its fellows as tools... Tools to get vaginal swabbing done. Tools to help with the call schedule. Tools to do the resident education for obstetrical topics, etc.

Our education is such a low priority that there has not been an MFM fellows" lecture series. It"s such a low priority that when there are interesting grand rounds or speakers, the attendings will often expect us to cover their resident protected time or clinical activities so that they can go. I try to give them a little slack, because they only have 3 MFMs (for 5700 deliveries and an ultrasound unit).

Our education is such a low priority at this institution that I"m essentially a self-taught MFM.

It"s kind of a malignant place, in a lot of ways. They"ve totally broken the educational social contract of graduate medical education. You know, the understood bit about us helping out the department and attendings at a very low rate of pay (~$46k if you want to know) in exchange for education? Our educational needs/wants are dismissed under the guise of "Learn to be an independant life-long learner!". We can get called in on no notice for a 10 minute meeting on a Saturday that has no identifiable purpose other than to prove that we had a meeting.

Having said this, the most recent event takes the cake. It is no surprise that we are required to defend our thesis prior to graduation. Ok... whatever.

But imagine my surprise when I get an email one night that says basically, "Your defense is in a week" (apparently that was a convienient time for the attendings). So, I spend 24 hours in a near-panic, until I get an email that says "Oh, never mind, it"s in May....".

Now, I just need to manage not to quit for long enough to graduate!

You know, the people here seem to think I"m a disappointment because I didn"t choose to go into academic medicine. Had my experience here been better, I might have stayed in academics.

In all fairness, the department has deteriorated to this level likely as a result of the demoralization and burnout of the few remaining attendings. I don"t feel that this is an excuse for creating an environment uncondusive to learning, but it is probably the main factor.

For all of you looking at training programs right now, my advice is this: STAY AWAY from programs that don"t have enough attendings to do the work!!